Lessening the Pressure
Darrell Morris

The benefits for children to be involved in competitive sports are numerous.  Not only does it provide kids with an opportunity to play a sport that they love, but to interact with other children, form social bonds and relationships, experience a sense of teamwork and sportsmanship, and potentially gain the respect of others while improving their self-confidence and self-esteem.  Provide the right setting, coach and circumstances and you set the stage for your child to experience an invaluable life experience that will contribute to their development as a mature and responsible young adult.

Trying out for a team and playing competitively can prove stressful and challenging for any child.  Everyone has a desire to succeed and do their best. That is only naturally.  Unfortunately, some internalize these desires more deeply than others, sometimes to their own determent.  Others allow the words and actions of those surrounding them to influence their behavior and performance.  Parents and coaches can take the lead in ensuring that those pressures do not become overwhelming or blown out of perspective, while continuing to foster an enjoyment for the sport their kids have chosen to play. 

As major influences in their children’s lives, parents can do a lot to help their children have a positive experience while playing competitively.  Here are just a few suggestions:

• Actively listen – reaffirm that your child really wants to play competitively. Avoid forcing or persuading your child into participating if they simply don’t want to.  It will only harm their self-esteem if they are unable or unwilling to play.  If they do truly want to play, ask them what they want from you in terms of your participation in the sport and what they expect to get out of playing.
• Accentuate the positive – keep the focus on having fun, improving their skills and seeing their participation as a life learning experience.
• Be supportive – support your kids but try not to become too involved.  Furthermore, view yourself as part of the team and offer encouragement to both the coach and other players.
• Assist in setting performance goals – help your children in setting realistic performance goals and in developing a winning attitude and a healthy sense of competition.
• Keeping the proper perspective– focus on helping your child to develop the appropriate skills level needed to play.  Encourage them to practice but don’t pressure them to so day and night.
• Acknowledge who they are – all children develop differently.  Try not to compare your child to other children (or yourself) in terms of what they can and can not do.  Accept them for who they are and praise their abilities.

Ultimately, those children that excel in competitive sports are not the ones that feel pressure or the need to succeed at all costs.  The kids who feel supported by their parents and coaches, and who feel an enthusiastic connection to their sport are the ones that thrive and excel.